Ten tips for living open adoption

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Author: 
Adoptive Families Association of BC
Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine
  1. Expect your child to find relationships with birth family difficult and confusing at times. Confusion is a part of life and they will need to handle confusing situations of many kinds.
  2. Expect relationships to change and evolve. There may be lots of contact today and less tomorrow.
  3. Your child's interest in openness will ebb and flow at different ages and stages.
  4. Plan on sibling relationships playing an integral part in the whole process.
  5. Expect the openness to become more complicated over time, not more simple.
  6. Understand that your level of comfort will shift with changes in your child and when the circumstances of the birth family change.
  7. Assume that this work is as difficult for the birth family as for the adoptive family.
  8. Remember that when a birth family starts living openness, they are on the receiving end o the same intrusiveness as the adoptive family but they are usually far less equipped to handle it.
  9. Approach openness with the understanding that not every birth family will be as enthusiastic as you are for openness.
  10. Understand that openness is equally as difficult as raising kids without openness--it's just different.

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