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Home > Books & Resources > Openness Frequently Asked Questions About Openness What is openness? Openness in adoption is becoming increasingly common in both local and intercountry adoption. Openness describes the level of contact between a child's birth family and adoptive family. It can take many forms, including the limited semi-openness of sharing non-identifying information and annual letters and pictures via an intermediary, to a fully open adoption, where the child develops a one-on-one relationship with birth parents or extended birth family. The term is also used to refer to contact between the child's foster family, siblings, and extended family, and the new adoptive family. Openness in adoption does not mean shared parenting. It is about creating positive relationships for the benefit of the child. No matter where a child is adopted from, an adoptive family needs to recognize that the child's birth family, and other significant relationships such as a foster family, are a part of who the child is. Open adoption allows parents to know their child or children better and their children to better understand him or herself. Many birth parents and adoptive parents worry that ongoing contact will be painful and confusing for all parties. While there is undeniably grief and loss in adoption, research has shown that openness lessens confusion and anxiety for both children and parents. Δ
What is the history of openness? Until the late 1980s it was generally believed that severing all ties to birth family was the best way to help a new adoptive family bond. In the mid- to late-eighties the adoption community and child welfare agencies began to believe that maintaining information and relationships with birth family was important for an adopted child. Today, some level of openness is more the norm than the exception for children placed locally either by the Ministry for Children and Family Development or one of the licensed adoption agencies. What are the levels of openness? Ask several people what their definition of "open adoption" is and you are likely to get several different answers. Some may think that allowing an expectant parent to choose the prospective adoptive parents from a profile of non-identifying information is an open adoption. Still others may say that those who met prior to placement and who exchange pictures and letters after the child is placed in the adoptive home are participating in an open adoption. This definition is, in fact, a variation of an open or semi-open adoption. Openness ranges from having no exchange of names and addresses and sharing perhaps some letters and pictures forwarded through the adoption agency, to full disclosure of personal information and frequent visits between the birth family and the adoptive family. In between these two points are as many variations as are necessary for the families involved. The best interests of the child should always be at the center of all openness agreements/arrangements. For many families, openness may start with a meeting prior to, or shortly following, the birth of the child. It may continue with scheduled exchanges of letters and photos directly or through an agency, an annual visit without disclosing contact information, or ongoing visits and telephone calls with full disclosure of personal and contact information. The primary difference between a completely open adoption and a semi-open adoption is that in an open adoption the child and the adoptive family develop a relationship with the birth family. The adoptive and birth family need to determine the level of openness that is best for the child and for them. Does openness change as the child grows older? It often does. At the center of all openness are relationships between the birth family, adoptive family, and child. When openness includes personal contact, then likely the relationships will change as the lives of those involved change. Birth parents grow older and often marry and have additional children. Change also happens in the lives of the adoptive family; they may move, add more children, or divorce. Lastly, the child grows, takes on work and perhaps college, and may marry and raise a family of his or her own. The best openness arrangements are those that allow for the ebb and flow of these changes. The child is going to have different needs and questions as they grow — preferably the openness arrangement can be flexible to meet these needs and can change at the request of the adopted child. Some children feel strongly about openness while others don't. Some may ask for additional openness and some may ask for openness to be restricted at different times. Often openness changes during the child's preteen and teen years. How do children feel about openness? Children growing up with openness will experience it as normal. For openness to be successful for the child, it is important for the adults to set and agree to clear boundaries around the roles and rights and responsibilities for the parties participating. The adults must also be committed to the openness process and all the joys and challenges that it brings. Δ
What is an openness agreement? What is the post adoption registry? This is a passive registry operated by the Ministry for Children and Family Development for the Province of BC for children formerly in the care of the Ministry. Birth family and adoptive families can register and if both sides register the Ministry will share information with both parties. More information on this registry can be found here. What happens when openness isn't safe for the child or the adoptive family? An adoptive family or child should never be expected to disclose their personal information to any party who isn't considered to be safe for the family or the child. In such cases, families are encouraged to develop safe ways that still allow some level of openness. This could include letters, photos, or videos that are delivered through a safe intermediary such as the MCFD or an agency. It is also possible for the parties to meet at a supervised neutral location. Is openness possible in intercountry adoption? Yes, and no. The answer depends entirely on the child's first country. Many families with children born in Central America, South America, Haiti, and the US, for example, have the opportunity for openness. Openness with family in other countries such as China and Russia is difficult or impossible for most children. Countries have been known to shift their policy and beliefs. Korea is an example of this. Traditionally, Korea was a closed country, but in past years Korea has operated an Adoption Reunion Registry to facilitate the reunions of thousands of children adopted abroad. Recommended Reading on the Subject of Openness Open Adoption Experience : Complete Guide for Adoptive and Birth Families, by Lois Melina Children of Open Adoption and Their Families, by Kathleen Silber, Patricia Martinez Dorner How To Open An Adoption, by author and therapist Patricia Martinez Dorner The Spirit of Open Adoption, by James L. Gritter To buy books on openness click here. AFABC members may also borrow books from our library. |
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