BC's Waiting Children

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Everyone has a story: Meet the Calhouns

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Like many couples, John Calhoun and Carly Bates found their way to adoption after experiencing infertility.

It wasn’t an out-of-left-field choice for them, though. Carly says she told John on their first date that she wanted to adopt. It just took them a few years to get there. They knew they wanted to experience what it was like to  parent a newborn, so they chose to pursue local infant adoption through an agency. Just four months after  completing the application process, they were chosen by the expectant parents of a baby boy.

Goodnight Mommy

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

I knock gently on my son’s door. No answer. I open the door, and peer in. I can just make out the sleeping body, huddled underneath a pile of blankets.

I go into the room, peel back the covers, and stroke my finger along his cheek. “10 more minutes,” he says.

“OK,” I say, turning to leave the room.

“No, in your bed.”

He gets out of his bed and, still half asleep, walks across the hall to my room. He crawls under my duvet  and snuggles in.

"Perfect" parents for teens

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Parents who are willing to wait for personal gratification.
Attachment with teens can take longer and may look very different than attachment with younger children.

Someone with a great sense of humour, patience, tolerance, and adaptability.
Self explanatory if you know teens.

People who can see beyond the rebellious teen to the blossoming young adult that they are becoming.
Are you able to quietly nurture the child that is still crying out for love and attention?

Aging out: Tough road for teens

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Some 1,100 former wards of the Crown enter adulthood yearly. What can be done to improve their chances for success?

You’re 19, officially an adult. Happy birthday. Now get out of the house.

As parents, few of us would take such a brutal approach. Yet in our role as citizens that is exactly the style we adopt toward teenagers “in care” of the Crown -- for whom the government is, institutionally speaking, their legal “parent.”

Fostercare and the stigma of mental illness

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

I’ve certainly benefitted from the care of some very supportive foster parents over the years, since my placement in goverment care at the age of 15. My need for care was determined by the presence of serious mental illness in the family. My beautiful and brilliant mother was a professor of linguistics at the University of Victoria, when she experienced the onset of schizophrenia. It certainly doesn’t discriminate. All of the degrees, merits and accomplishments did not matter, in the slow decline of her beautiful mind.

Consider singles

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

If we overlook single people as possible adoptive parents, we could be missing out on wonderful parents for our kids.

There’s little doubt about it, the chances of adopting if you are single are slimmer than for couples. This not only affects single people, it also means that children miss out on a loving, committed parent.

Attaching to Alex takes all Mom's skills

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Adoptive mom Carol Bolton describes how she struggled but succeeded in developing an attachment relationship with one of her newly-adopted sons.

Last year, we adopted our two sons. Though siblings, the boys had been placed in different foster homes and barely knew each other.

David, aged two, was placed five days after birth with foster parents who were very experienced and knew how to transition a child to a new family. David moved in with us first and the process went very smoothly.

Finding families closer to home

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Two innovative AFABC programs prove that, in many cases, there are people in a child’s existing network who are willing to adopt the child. Social worker Anne Melcombe, of Wendy’s Wonderful Kids, and Kirsty Stormer of Fraser Kids, explain how their programs work.

“You mean I have 50 people who are actually related to me! All these people are my family!” -- Eight-year-old foster child who is shown his family tree after extensive research was done to uncover it.

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