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Navigating anxiety

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

I have always been anxious.

I didn’t recognize it until my mid 30s, when I went through full-blown, severe anxiety and depression. After months of hell, I saw the pain as the message it was: “you need to change.”

Mother's Day and the adoptive Mom

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Mother’s Day brings to mind fresh flowers, blueberry pancakes and homemade cards. It’s a day to be spoiled and fêted by family. But for me, an adoptive mother, it’s never as simple as the Hallmark holiday it’s touted to be.

Don’t get me wrong: I feel deep joy in my role as mom to my two-and-a-half-year-old son, and I marvel at his giddy joie de vivre. But the way I arrived at motherhood will always be bittersweet. In order for me to become a mom, another mother had to lose a child.

Whinny the horse

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

My three-year-old son Callum had his first horseback ride today. He’s always been drawn to horses, and spends a  large amount of his play time trying to “ride” almost anything he can straddle. So we knew he needed to ride a horse. But we were surprised to see the ease with which he rode, holding the horse’s mane in one hand and my hand in the other, as the horse (named Whinny) was led around the pasture by her owner: Callum’s birth mother, Lisa.*

Adoption: Happily ever after - almost

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

As a mother of two adopted adult children, I had been going to the Forget Me Not Family Society (FMNFS) meetings in Cloverdale for over a year, and I thought I knew about Moms (birthmoms) and adoptees. My sister Bernadette was forced to give her baby to what society told her was a “better family” because she was given no support to keep her precious little newborn.

Finding lost family through the Internet

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

As I prepared to adopt, I knew there was a “right” answer when it came to openness. Openness was good, and I needed to come across like I believed it. The truth was, openness scared me silly.

What I really hoped was that any child we adopted would have an unfortunate, yet complete, lack of background information, and that openness was something that I could favour without actually experiencing.

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #24

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

In the 24th of our series, our mom of three kids--Emily, Grant and Lynn--has made her decision not to adopt the unborn child of Emily’s birthmom. Since then things have gone very silent, and she’s wondering what on earth is happening.

It’s been two months since that first phone call from the adoption agency letting us know that Alexa was pregnant and she wanted us to adopt her new baby. We were told her due date was late May or early June and, since she hadn’t had any prenatal care, that was just an estimate.

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #23

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

In the 23rd of our series, our mom of three kids--Emily, Grant and Lynn--is still absorbing the news that Emily’s birthmom is pregnant and wants them to adopt the new baby. It’s a difficult decision, and everyone seems to think that she’s the one who should have to make it.

I phoned my husband at work, suggested he sits down, and tell him about Alexa being pregnant. Dead silence. When he finally spoke, he said, “That’s so great! A sibling of Emily’s! Wow! When is she due?”

Today's birth parents: Their needs and rights

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

There are still many myths and much misinformation about birth parents. Though the adoption community may be better educated than the general public, we also still have much to learn.

A year-long project, "Safeguarding the Rights and Well being of Birth Parents," by the US-based Evan B Donaldson Institute for Adoption, has much to teach us about today’s birth parents. Though the study focuses on the United States, many of the findings are relevant to the Canadian adoption community. In this article, we focus on some of the major points in the report.

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #28

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

In the 28th of our series, our mom of three kids, Emily, Grant and Lynn, evaluates what she wishes she knew before adopting kids with special needs, and what she’s glad she didn’t know.

Things I wish I’d known before adopting special needs kids:

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