Openness

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Living openness: Naming Victor

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

V is for Victor... or is it?

It was a sparkling May bursting with new life, and we were going to be parents in two months. We didn’t have a crib,  bottles, formula, diapers or onesies, but my husband Kevin and I had a name. Our son would be named Victor.

Ask the Expert: Dr. Michael Grand

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Over the past 30 years, Dr. Grand’s professional activities and research have been focused on search and reunion, adoptive family identity, provision of adoption services, and openness in legislation and practice. With his book, The Adoption Constellation: New Ways of Thinking About and Practicing Adoption, Grand challenges current and past adoption practices and discusses new and more inclusive ways of thinking about adoption. Grand also addresses the looming identity crisis of donor adoptees and the need for open information for the children of reproductive technologies.

Whinny the horse

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

My three-year-old son Callum had his first horseback ride today. He’s always been drawn to horses, and spends a  large amount of his play time trying to “ride” almost anything he can straddle. So we knew he needed to ride a horse. But we were surprised to see the ease with which he rode, holding the horse’s mane in one hand and my hand in the other, as the horse (named Whinny) was led around the pasture by her owner: Callum’s birth mother, Lisa.*

Openness in international adoptions

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Openness in international adoptions is just as critical for emotional and psychological health as it is for domestic adoptions.

What does an international open adoption look like? Certainly openness in adoption is different when an adoptive family is faced with barriers of language, culture and distance. I’ve spoken with adoptive parents who express relief when their international adoption is complete. The assumption is that given the physical and cultural distance that there is no  expectation for openness with birth family or home country.

Explaining adoption: It's more than being "chosen"

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Explaining adoption through differrent ages and stages requires the right amount of information at the right time.

A number of decades ago (I won’t clarify how many – a lady never tells her age you know), I was adopted. My adoptive parents are amazing. They told me I was “chosen” from the earliest moments. It was part of me and something I was proud of.

Finding lost family through the Internet

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

As I prepared to adopt, I knew there was a “right” answer when it came to openness. Openness was good, and I needed to come across like I believed it. The truth was, openness scared me silly.

What I really hoped was that any child we adopted would have an unfortunate, yet complete, lack of background information, and that openness was something that I could favour without actually experiencing.

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #24

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

In the 24th of our series, our mom of three kids--Emily, Grant and Lynn--has made her decision not to adopt the unborn child of Emily’s birthmom. Since then things have gone very silent, and she’s wondering what on earth is happening.

It’s been two months since that first phone call from the adoption agency letting us know that Alexa was pregnant and she wanted us to adopt her new baby. We were told her due date was late May or early June and, since she hadn’t had any prenatal care, that was just an estimate.

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #23

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

In the 23rd of our series, our mom of three kids--Emily, Grant and Lynn--is still absorbing the news that Emily’s birthmom is pregnant and wants them to adopt the new baby. It’s a difficult decision, and everyone seems to think that she’s the one who should have to make it.

I phoned my husband at work, suggested he sits down, and tell him about Alexa being pregnant. Dead silence. When he finally spoke, he said, “That’s so great! A sibling of Emily’s! Wow! When is she due?”

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