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China dolls and violin virtuosos

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Do adoptive parents' conceptions of race and racial identity change after adoption?

Raising a child of a different race than yours probably means that you’ve discussed comeback lines for all those unwanted grocery store comments with other adoptive parents.

If you’re like us, you’ve probably felt at a loss for words at times and worried how some of these misconceptions and misguided views might affect your children who are often standing next to you. 

A vote for orphanages - Until...

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Would teens who move from foster home to foster home be better off in an orphanage?

There's a "new" debate going on about building orphanages for foster kids. There's even a group in Minnesota that's proposing orphanages for younger children. When asked at a public hearing what ages of children they would place in their orphanages, they noted "60% of the children will be 8 or 9 to 15 year olds with the rest being older or younger." So we know that at least one group out there is advocating for children even younger than 8-year-old.

Most teens do want to be adopted

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Social worker Anne Melcombe is a big believer in teen adoption. Why? Because she knows that teens want families and that there are families who want to adopt teens. In this article, we meet some of those parents and the kids they will adopt.

Anne Melcombe once asked a group of former foster kids if they would have liked to have been adopted. One man, 23 years old, 280 lbs, and covered in tattoos, held up his hand and said, “You bet your ass I would have liked a family. I still would!”

Trust takes times for older adopted children

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Adoption therapist Brenda McCreight explains to an impatient father that it will take much longer than he expects for his 7-year-old daughter, adopted from an orphanage, to learn to trust her new parents.

Recently, an adoptive father asked me for suggestions on how he could develop a trust-based relationship with his 7-year-old daughter, adopted internationally from an orphanage two years previously.

Your child's ages and stages in adoption

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Though, of course, children are all different, research has shown that children who join their family through adoption tend to go through specific stages in their understanding of their family and their place in it. Here we summarize one of the best descriptions of these “ages and stages,” which can be found in Lois Ruskai Melina’s book Raising Adopted Children.

Clever communication with kids

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Children, especially those who are under stress or who have a learning disability, can easily feel overwhelmed by the amount of language being thrown in their direction, or by their inability to process what is being said. Here are some tips on how to reduce your child’s frustration, and increase your success.

Don’t Talk Too Much!

The language of hurt kids

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Psychologists have given us a concept of non-verbal communication that makes an incredible amount of sense in the context of adoption—it is called inducement.

Those of us who live or work with adopted children need to understand that inducement is the language of the abandoned. Inducement is the most important conceptual tool we have to understand why children act the way they do.

Adoptive parents invest more in their children

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Adoptive parents invest more time and financial resources in their children, compared with biological parents. That’s the finding of a US study that challenges the more conventional view - emphasized in legal and scholarly debates - that children are better off with their biological parents.

The study, involving around 13,000 US households that included first-graders, found that two-parent adoptive parents not only spend more money on their children, but they invest more time, such as reading to them, talking to them about their problems or eating meals together.

Caring for Traumatized Children

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

By Siobhan Rowe

After over 28 years as a foster parent, Anne Melcombe has been right on the front line of caring for traumatized children. She has seen just about every possible trauma reaction, and has learned different ways to respond to each. She spoke to AFABC about what she’s learned.

How have children that you have cared for showed signs of trauma?

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