There are a variety of techniques you can employ to help your child and your family cope with attention deficit disorder(ADD) or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder(ADHD). Medication is helpful in many cases, but there are techniques that can help your child learn how to better manage his behaviour.
Transracial adoption means that your family becomes “public” because your differences are readily apparent to others. Do you feel sick at the thought of the lady in the grocery store who asks inappropriate questions about your child, or do you relish the thought of learning how to help your child develop the strength and capacity to cope with racial bias? As a parent, you will be “on display.” You will need to seek help from adult mentors of colour who understand firsthand your children’s experiences in ways that you can’t.
by Katherine Crowe
We adopted our daughter when she was nine-months-old. When she was two, I took part in a university-sponsored survey on parental attitudes. The only question I recall is the one that asked what my fears were for my child. I responded by saying I had none. Becoming a parent had put me in a bubble of bliss. Wiping a dirty bottom, soothing a teething baby, preparing formula and bottles, and being tied down by naps, were all joys to me.
We know that the stress of growing within a mother who is considering whether she will be able to raise the child she is carrying affects the developing brain of the fetus. Primed to connect on an unmistakably profound level at birth, the newborn or older baby or child, regardless of the excellence of the care provided afterward, experiences biological as well as psychological loss when separated from his original mother—although quality care does mitigate the damage. Subsequent moves to foster care and then into an adoptive home leave their mark on the child’s psyche.
Having directed both foster care and adoption programs that place teenagers into permanent families, and then having founded an agency that places teenagers into permanent families, I often get asked, “What kind of people will offer their home permanently to a teenager?” My answer is always the same, “Any and all kinds of people who, after a good preparation experience, are willing to unconditionally commit themselves to a child no matter what behavior that child might ultimately exhibit.” Teenagers need, first and foremost, at least one adult who will unconditionally commit to and claim th
Adoptive father Grant Withers is an interesting man. He appears entirely unhampered by generally accepted concepts of the "male" or "father" role.
Adoptive father Andrew Melton, 42, did everything the adoption text books suggest prior to adopting his child. He and his partner, Claire, attended an adoptive parents support group for over two years. He participated enthusiastically in the MCFD education program and in the home study process, and he took parental leave when two-year-old Greg joined the family this summer. Despite all this, he wasn’t prepared for what was to come.
When Deborah Bailey and her husband Edward, first met their then three-and-a-half-year old daughter, Ola, in a Russian orphanage, her first words to them were, “You’re late.”
They immediately realized that this little preschooler was a force to be reckoned with. Deborah says that at the same time as Ola was being so forthright, she had a single tear in her eye. This was an early indication of Ola’s desperate need for belonging and her intense fear of it.
Under current Employment Insurance legislation, women who give birth are entitled to 15 weeks of maternity leave and 35 weeks of parental leave. Adoptive parents only qualify for parental leave. So far, the Canadian government has chosen to ignore protests from the adoption community that this discriminates against adoptive families.
Our adoption story started in the fall of 1984 when I experienced a near fatal health emergency as a result of a genetic illness. My wife and I decided not to have biological children, as there was a strong possibility that my illness would be passed onto our children. We were aware of adoption, but never considered it seriously — we’d heard that it could take years and years.