Your relationship before adoption

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Author: 
Anonymous
Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

If you see any of these signs in your relationship before you adopt a child, work through the problems together or get a good counsellor.

  • Anger of frustration by your parenter's inability to understand your feelings
  • Frequent arguments
  • Focusing on the negative aspects of your relationships
  • Not spending time together
  • Difficulty in communicating, especially regarding infertility/adoption issues
  • Hostility, or anger toward your partner
  • Frustration because your partner tries to "fix" problems rather than listen, or you feel frustrated because your partner does not take your advice
  • Relying more on the listening skills of friends rather than your partner
  • Thinking you would be better off if you separated
  • You are deadlocked with your partner over the decision to adopt or to pursue assisted reporduction
  • Added pressure from family and/or friends regarding having children
  • Resentment toward your partner due to feeling pressured into attending painful family functions (baby showers, family celebrations for children)
  • Feeling alone in your relationship when dealing with infertility/adoption

This advice was provided by a mom who divorced shortly after adopting a child.