If you see any of these signs in your relationship before you adopt a child, work through the problems together or get a good counsellor.
- Anger of frustration by your parenter's inability to understand your feelings
- Frequent arguments
- Focusing on the negative aspects of your relationships
- Not spending time together
- Difficulty in communicating, especially regarding infertility/adoption issues
- Hostility, or anger toward your partner
- Frustration because your partner tries to "fix" problems rather than listen, or you feel frustrated because your partner does not take your advice
- Relying more on the listening skills of friends rather than your partner
- Thinking you would be better off if you separated
- You are deadlocked with your partner over the decision to adopt or to pursue assisted reporduction
- Added pressure from family and/or friends regarding having children
- Resentment toward your partner due to feeling pressured into attending painful family functions (baby showers, family celebrations for children)
- Feeling alone in your relationship when dealing with infertility/adoption
This advice was provided by a mom who divorced shortly after adopting a child.