Birth family

We discovered this poem in an anthology of adoption poetry from 1983,  Perspectives on a Grafted Tree. The book is still in print and available on Amazon. Sheila Darst wrote it when she was an expectant adoptive mother and dedicated it to her social worker, Deborah Bonnardel. Her description of waiting for an adoption match rings true almost three decades later.

Spring’s here, and Mother’s Day is around the corner. In this section, we offer a variety of perspectives on how to celebrate when adoption is part of your story.

When Mother’s Day hurts

Holidays are a natural time to reflect on family and the past. For obvious reasons, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are extremely common times for adopted children to feel down or to have a lot of questions about their birth parents.

Author’s note: this article expresses my opinion and feelings, formed both through my own experiences and through my association with many other mothers in person, at the Forget Me Not Family Society, and in online communities.     

As we celebrate AFABC’s 40th anniversary, we’re reflecting on the past but also looking ahead to the future. This article explores one scientific advancement that’s already changing the world of adoption: DNA tests.

Every adoption reunion is unique,  but most of them have one thing in common: they’re complicated. In this article, a reunited adoptee shares her advice.

Reunions in the real world

Thanks to the internet and social media, adoption reunions are becoming common. Reunions are complicated journeys through intensity, excitement, anxiety, and unknowns—and there’s no road map.

In 2007, the First Nations Child and Family Caring Society and the Assembly of First Nations filed a human rights complaint against the Canadian Federal government, alleging that Canada’s failure to provide equitable and culturally based child welfare services to First Nations children on-reserve amounts to discrimination on the basis of race and ethnic origin. In January, the Tribunal ruled against the government. In this piece, Andrea Auger of the Caring Society reflects on the importance and implications of this decision.

The Lohse family first appeared in the April/May 1998 issue of Focus on Adoption magazine, where Annette told the story of adopting Mikayla. Today we catch up with them and hear about the following 18 years from three perspectives: adoptive mom Annette, adoptee Mikayla, and birth mom Lisa.

In part three, we hear from Lisa.

The Lohse family first appeared in the April/May 1998 issue of Focus on Adoption magazine, where Annette told the story of adopting Mikayla. Today we catch up with them and hear about the following 18 years from three perspectives: adoptive mom Annette, adoptee Mikayla, and birth mom Lisa.

In part two, we hear Mikayla's perspective.

The Lohse family first appeared in the April/May 1998 issue of Focus on Adoption magazine, where Annette told the story of adopting Mikayla. Today we catch up with them and hear about the following 18 years from three perspectives: adoptive mom Annette, adoptee Mikayla, and birth mom Lisa.

In part one, we hear Annette’s perspective.

My daughter Libby was born as I held her birth mother Carla’s hand, breathing with her through the agony of labour. When her daughter drew her first breath, Carla looked at me and said, “Congratulations on your new baby.” Then she asked me to cut the umbilical cord.