Birth family

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Mother's Day and the adoptive Mom

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Mother’s Day brings to mind fresh flowers, blueberry pancakes and homemade cards. It’s a day to be spoiled and fêted by family. But for me, an adoptive mother, it’s never as simple as the Hallmark holiday it’s touted to be.

Don’t get me wrong: I feel deep joy in my role as mom to my two-and-a-half-year-old son, and I marvel at his giddy joie de vivre. But the way I arrived at motherhood will always be bittersweet. In order for me to become a mom, another mother had to lose a child.

Whinny the horse

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

My three-year-old son Callum had his first horseback ride today. He’s always been drawn to horses, and spends a  large amount of his play time trying to “ride” almost anything he can straddle. So we knew he needed to ride a horse. But we were surprised to see the ease with which he rode, holding the horse’s mane in one hand and my hand in the other, as the horse (named Whinny) was led around the pasture by her owner: Callum’s birth mother, Lisa.*

Adoption: Happily ever after - almost

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

As a mother of two adopted adult children, I had been going to the Forget Me Not Family Society (FMNFS) meetings in Cloverdale for over a year, and I thought I knew about Moms (birthmoms) and adoptees. My sister Bernadette was forced to give her baby to what society told her was a “better family” because she was given no support to keep her precious little newborn.

Adoption gift-giving 101

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Not all gifts are equal. Here’s what you need to know about choosing a gift and where to find it.

For some, gift buying ranks right up there with a toothache. Questions like what to get, how much to spend, and whether it’s returnable, all swirl in your brain as the clock ticks on, unconcerned with your predicament. Add the circle of adoption to the gift-giving mix, and you’ve got a full-blown root canal! Not only is there uncertainty about what to get, but the fear of offending someone, of not being prepared, or of appearing disrespectful are added concerns.

Fostercare and the stigma of mental illness

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

I’ve certainly benefitted from the care of some very supportive foster parents over the years, since my placement in goverment care at the age of 15. My need for care was determined by the presence of serious mental illness in the family. My beautiful and brilliant mother was a professor of linguistics at the University of Victoria, when she experienced the onset of schizophrenia. It certainly doesn’t discriminate. All of the degrees, merits and accomplishments did not matter, in the slow decline of her beautiful mind.

Adoption against all the odds

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

The following story is far from typical—most BC families that adopt from the US have a much easier experience. This story speaks to the immense strength of the desire to become parents. Despite the enormous difficulty of their journey, the couple we feature here persevered. That is a characteristic of many adoptive families—it is a quality that brings untold numbers of parents and children together.

Deciding to start a family took Jane Bartlett and Linda Coe (names have been changed) on one of the most difficult adoption journeys imaginable.

Finding lost family through the Internet

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

As I prepared to adopt, I knew there was a “right” answer when it came to openness. Openness was good, and I needed to come across like I believed it. The truth was, openness scared me silly.

What I really hoped was that any child we adopted would have an unfortunate, yet complete, lack of background information, and that openness was something that I could favour without actually experiencing.

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #24

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

In the 24th of our series, our mom of three kids--Emily, Grant and Lynn--has made her decision not to adopt the unborn child of Emily’s birthmom. Since then things have gone very silent, and she’s wondering what on earth is happening.

It’s been two months since that first phone call from the adoption agency letting us know that Alexa was pregnant and she wanted us to adopt her new baby. We were told her due date was late May or early June and, since she hadn’t had any prenatal care, that was just an estimate.

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