Practical help for struggling families

Focus on Adoption magazine

Last week I got an email from a woman whose friend’s family is struggling after their recent adoption.

Her heartfelt note asked what she could do to help this family. The line that grabbed me was, “The mom looks sad and frustrated all of the time.” Most likely, the entire family is fueled by fear and sadness.

She closed her email with, “What can I do to help? What can our church family do to help?”

What's your family fit?

Focus on Adoption magazine

Take this quiz, developed by Speak-Out Youth members April and Courtney, to see what kind of family is the right fit for you!

Question 1

You’ve just come from a long day at school. What would you like to come home to?

a) Lots of brothers and sisters jumping off the walls and inviting you to play.
b) Your mom and dad waiting for you, ready to go on a bike ride.
c) Your mom, cooking dinner, ready to hear all about your day.
d) An after-school snack of homemade cookies while you do your homework with your siblings and wait for your dad to come home.

Hero for Everlong

Speak-Out Youth Newsletter

I believe that permanency is very important.
When I was at my all time low
I just wanted to fly away like a blackbird.
I was creeping death,
I needed a Courtesy Call.
I knew that someday I'll be on the Stairway to
Soon I will find a person, they will say,
"Oh starlight, don't you cry. We're going to find
A place where we belong"
They will be my Saviour, I'll know that
Nothing else matters, and I'll be living in
Paradise City.
So Open your eyes, and see that If
Everyone Cared, and they gave a

Our journey

Focus on Adoption magazine

It’s been hard to see my things destroyed, my personal space obliterated and my patience shattered.

It’s been an adjustment to keep up with multiple appointments, lack of information and countless phone calls.

It’s been a struggle to not ask too much, push too hard or back off too far.

We’ve been through nightmares, perfect days and everything in between.

I’ve loved being able to snuggle you, tickle you and tuck you in every night – even though you’re not so little.

I’m amazed at how you’ve grown in such a short time – so much more than just height.

My Mother's Day

Focus on Adoption magazine

When I was four
I met my Mother
She opened a door
unlike no other
A Mother’s Day means to me
It fills my heart with happiness
For each and every day will be
A forever love
endless food
camping trips
years of memories
tons of pictures
traveling to far off places
going to oceans
my Mother’s Day
our journey
cooking and baking
Mountains and hiking
biking and quading
tucking me in at night
helping me with my science project
cutting my hair and my nails
my mother is like no other in the world

The adoption

Focus on Adoption magazine

A childless couple
An orphaned, young lad
A hope for a family
Was all that they had

Mountains of paperwork
And countless tears
This road never easy
And financially dear

Waiting by the phone
Praying for the call
They relied on each other
So neither would fall

That phone call did come
They were Africa bound
That message, still fresh
The most beautiful sound

James was his name
A boy, almost done
He’d meet us in Ghana
And become our new son

Finding the connection

Focus on Adoption magazine

For one family, connecting their adoptive children with their Indigenous origins has been full of change and full of hope.

As adoptive parents who began our journey with our application to adopt almost 25 years ago, we’ve seen some changes along the way. One of those changes has been regarding the adoption of children of First Nations ancestry into non-First Nations homes.

The big why

Focus on Adoption magazine

My five-year-old son, Victor, has known his birth parents his entire life, and he’s met all of his birth aunts, uncles and grandparents.

We go to adoption gatherings and meetups, and he knows umpteen kids who were adopted. We talk about  adoption, we read about adoption, and we stand out as an adoptive family. Sometimes, I feel like we are adoption.  The problem is we’ve done such a great job of normalizing adoption that Victor thinks all kids were adopted.

Unexpected challenges

Focus on Adoption magazine

My desire to explore the unexpected led me to talk to two sets of parents about their journeys through adoption and into being a family.

When adopting, these couples experience trials they had never have imagined. Some of the unique hurdles they faced were predictable, while others were completely unexpected.


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