Culture

Andrew Martindale, an adoptive parent, and assistant professor in the Department of Anthropology at the University of British Columbia, explains that the concept of race is man-made and, though it holds enormous power, has no biological basis.

The history of race relations makes transracial adoptions deeply personal, and, at times, very public statements of reconciliation. What do we say to our children, ourselves and others about the nature and significance of racial difference within our families?

Last December, David Kuefler took his family back to Vietnam where his daughter was born. Here he shares why the trip was so important.

David, his husband Peter, their daughter Chloë, son Aidan, and Chloë’s godmothers, Corinne and Amanda, joined for the trip to Vietnam, where Chloë was adopted from when she was eight months old.

Reprinted with permission from Adoptive Families magazine (formerly OURS), January/February 1992, a publication of Adoptive Families of America. For more information, visit the AFA website.

Over the years, psychologist Dr Peter Hotz has worked with scores of adoptive families. He tells me that he has seen adoption from every angle. I’m at his Vancouver office to talk about international, cross-cultural adoptions. Dr Hotz has worked with several AFABC families. I can tell immediately that he has synthesized all that experience into some fundamental messages for parents considering adopting a child cross-culturally.

For decades, once internationally adopted children left their home country the chances of them reconnecting with family and other people connected to their early days was small. Now, thanks to the speed and global reach of the internet, those reconnections may be far easier to find and maintain.

March 3, 2003—the day our two year wait ended and our daughter, Le Xiao Meng, was placed in our arms. We were overwhelmed with joy. 

Loving our children has been easy. As transracial adoptive parents, however, it has been much more difficult to develop strategies for dealing with individual and institutional racism.

In our experience, the best lessons we can offer are those that teach our children to externalize racism and assure them we will always be there for them.

In the fourth of our series, we present the edited diary of Mary Ella, who is in Korea with her husband Wayne, only hours away from taking charge of their long-awaited daughter, Hee Young (Leelee).

Day #5, June 28, continued.

Mrs. Kang had asked us earlier when we wanted to take Hee Young, and we told her as soon as possible. Though, as much as I wanted her with us today, I felt it would be best to let her have one more night as a family with her foster parents, Mr. and Mrs. Ra.

In the fifth, and last of our series, we present the edited diary of Mary Ella, who is in Korea with her husband Wayne, adjusting to finally having their little daughter in their charge.

Day 6, continued

I had asked Mrs. Kang if the children have a tough time adjusting. She told me it was true sometimes, but she thought that Hee Young would be okay and that if we had any problems we could call her day or night. I sensed she might be wrong on her assessment, having witnessed a bond so strong between this foster mother and child.

An adult adoptee, Chantal De Brouwer, explains what keeping a connection with her birth country and culture has meant to her.

When I was about three days old, I was left on a transit bus in Mexico City. No one knows how long I’d been there, but the driver brought me to the hospital in the middle of the night. I weighed three pounds.

I am the mom of a 13-year-old girl adopted from the US. She is African-American, we are Caucasian. Some of her friends (it’s a predominantly “white” school) are attracting the interest of boys. My daughter says nobody seems interested in her, and she thinks it’s because of her colour. How do we respond to this in a way that helps?

Surely you will want her to feel valuable, attractive, and wanted. It may be more difficult for your daughter as peer-relationships, womanhood, racial identity, and self-esteem are likely involved in this for her.