Grief and loss

An adoption reunion can answer many questions. It can also change an adoptee's life in unexpected ways.

When she packed her birth certificate, some cherished photographs, and set off, Sevdin MacDonald hoped they might provide valuable clues that would lead to her lost family in Romania.

Openness doesn't always go smoothly--especially when a child was appreehended because of abuse or neglect.

Openness between the birth and adoptive parents of children who were in foster care because of neglect or abuse has become the norm. This sort of openness relationship can be very different to that between adoptive parents and healthy birth parents who made adoption plans for their children.

A guide that covers the basics of openness and adoption for birth parents.

Birth parents matter

Sometimes you might not feel like it, but you are important to your child. Even if you are not parenting your child, it doesn’t mean you can’t play an important role—you can. Kids usually want to know where they came from and who gave them their special characteristics. Your contact with your child will also let your child know that he or she wasn’t “given away” or “abandoned,” assumptions adopted children often make if they don’t know any better.

The experts claim that abandonment is an issue for all adoptees. How can parents help their children handle their losses?

We know that when a mother is considering whether she will be able to raise her child, the stress she experiences affects the developing brain of the fetus.

Adoption expert, Mary Martin Mason, asks us to open our minds about birth fathers - a much misunderstood segment of the adoption world.

This interview with renowned adoption expert Sharon Kaplan Roszia provides strong insights for adoptive parents.

What do parents need to consider when trying to prepare children already in the family for a new arrival?

"Imagine being married to someone for eight years, and then being told that you have to get a divorce and some stranger will choose your new spouse. Then imagine moving in with that person after only knowing them for a little while. What if they don’t like you, or you don’t like them — what next?"

Question: "We have been waiting to adopt for two years now. We've watched two adoptions fall through, and are having a tough time coping with the disappointment, and this sinking feeling that we might never be parents. What can we do to keep our spirits up?"

This is a difficult question. Potential adoptive parents put tremendous amounts of time, money and emotional energy into the adoption process and then must bear with waiting for the fulfillment of their dreams and desires.

"My husband and I have struggled with infertility for several years. We have tried to conceive through IVF, but to no avail. We have come to the conclusion that adoption may be the best way for us to form a family, but I still want to pursue IVF treatments. My husband thinks we should stop IVF, come to terms with the fact that we can’t have our own children, and concentrate on adoption."

by Russell Webb

Shanna is 14 years old. She’s a lovely young  woman with dark hair and a bright smile. While she has a friendly manner and is comfortable conversing with adults, it’s clear that something is bothering her. It’s not so much what she says, as her body language and level of distractibility.

Shanna lives in a home with her two foster parents and four other children. She participates in chores, does her homework, spends time with her foster-siblings and hopes, one day, to be adopted. At this point, adoption is not the plan. She is in Neverland, that gray