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Clever communication for adoptive parents

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Sugarcoating adoption can backfire. Be honest but positive with your kids about adoption, birth parents, and history.

Stop spinning

As adoptive parents, we often try to protect our children from the painful aspects of their histories. We wonder what to tell and what to hold back from our kids. According to the Child Information Gateway, parents need to, “Resist the temptation to make up information or to put a better spin on the truth.” We need to “Highlight the positive without denying reality.“

Adoption online

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Cyberspace offers the adoption community both opportunities and risks--we need to prepare for both.

Growing numbers of adoptive parents and adoptees use social networking to talk, to meet, to share, to find, and to learn.

Thanks to social networking we are now all potential publishers—we can tell our stories, we can rant, we can chronicle, we can learn. Not only is our potential audience massive, what we write can be widely shared and distributed by anyone who reads it. Therein lies the wonder and the worry around sharing our stories online.

Back up so your child can move forward

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

A child welfare expert, and adoptive mom to 12 children, explains how retracing developmental stages helps older adoptees heal.

During college I studied Erik Erikson, a Pulitzer prize-winning psychologist known for his work in the mid-1900s on identity and psychosocial development. Decades later, I noticed remarkable connections between his theories and parenting older adopted children. The key part of Erikson’s theory is that until a person completes one developmental stage, they cannot go on to the next stage.

Adoption is a miracle too

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Adoptive mom Amanada Vincent asks, "Why do people insist on seeing adoption as second best?"

I do wish that people would think before implying that the recent birth of my son must have finally brought my heart’s desire.

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #35

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

In the 35th of our series, our mom finally receives a diagnosis for her daughter--and it’s not the one she’s expecting.

We just got the results from the assessment that was done on Lynn. I’m really conflicted about the information in that report.

Grandpa's adoption comes full circle

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Michael Reid didn't know he was adopted until he was 16 years old. As a result, he's glad his grandson already knows that he was adopted.

As a young man, I never had a strong desire to find my birth parents, or learn how I was adopted. That desire came later, at the persistent (but loving) insistence of my wife.

“Don’t you want to know where you come from?” she would ask. “Or what your heritage is? Or who your parents are? Or why you’re short?”

Navigating openness with birth family

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

 

Social worker Kathryn Grant offers some thoughts for parents who are axious about handling openness with birth family.

Many parents are apprehensive about managing openness relationships that they fear could be harmful for the child or disruptive to their family.

The key to success lies in two strategies: putting yourself in the child’s shoes so that you can understand the strength of their need to keep connected with those they love, and developing confidence that you can deal with tricky situations.

Abandonment

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

The experts claim that abandonment is an issue for all adoptees. How can parents help their children handle their losses?

We know that when a mother is considering whether she will be able to raise her child, the stress she experiences affects the developing brain of the fetus.

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