Infertility

"My husband and I have struggled with infertility for several years. We have tried to conceive through IVF, but to no avail. We have come to the conclusion that adoption may be the best way for us to form a family, but I still want to pursue IVF treatments. My husband thinks we should stop IVF, come to terms with the fact that we can’t have our own children, and concentrate on adoption."

by Russell Webb

Talking about family origins is a life-long conversation, one that begins early. In this article from Adoptive Families magazine, Kris Probasco, LCWS, LSCSW and Megan Fabian, B.A. help guide you through the years and the words of your family’s story.

The men in these three families know first-hand the joy and sorrow of infertility and adoption.

All too often, when faced with infertility, the focus is placed on the woman or the couple. Seldom is the man’s individual perspective taken into account, but in one family, where three couples in two generations have faced infertility, there are three male points of view.

What can be written about adoption that hasn’t already been written? There are many of these personal narratives and each one is unique. My story is not unlike the many others, but it is mine and has helped to make me who I am today.

Having a child was always in my genes. I was raised in a family of five. All of my siblings have families of three to four children each. Growing up, I was known as the “babysitter on my block” and when I got older I was Auntie to 13 nieces and nephews. I love children.

But sometimes destiny isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

BC’s CHOICES Adoption Agency and the Victoria Fertility Centre have teamed up to provide an embryo donation service.

What this means is that people who have gone through infertility treatment and have spare embryos they don’t intend to use, and don’t want destroyed, can donate an embryo to another person. The embryos are frozen, which can affect the success rates of such procedures.

A summary of Patricia Irwin Johnston’s presentation at the 2003 NACAC Conference.

If you have experienced infertility and are thinking about adoption, here are some questions to ask yoruself before moving forward.

"My husband and I have recently been diagnosed as infertile. Whereas I have come to see adoption as the best option for raising a family, my husband sees our infertility as an indication that we should remain childless. I’m at a loss, I love my husband, but I really want a family."

By Julie Smith (not her real name)

“There is a problem. This could impact your ability to have children,” were the words I heard from my gynecologist after having laproscopic surgery. My heart sank. I had wanted to be a mom from the time I was four years old. When I thought I would never be a mom, I felt incomplete, ugly, and embarrassed. I didn’t want anybody to know.

At one point we actually referred to it as 90 months of failure. But it was through the pain of years of infertility that we finally opened up to the option of adoption. It always seemed like having to settle for second best-runner up-the silver medal. If only we knew then what we know now, we would have started the adoption process so much earlier.