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Diary of an Adoptive Mom #11

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

In the eleventh of our series we present the, until now, secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids. This time, our struggling mom faces her own feelings of loss over the life she had before the second adoption--a loss she feels is often not properly acknowledged.

I feel like such an idiot; I think I'm finally getting what the problem is. Or, should I say, what "my" problem is. You would think that will all the reading I did before the kids came home I would be a little more aware. Apparently not.

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #13

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

In the thirteenth of our series we present the secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids. This time, our struggling mom feels better, and weathers Christmas.

December

Just this morning I was sitting in the van (as usual) waiting for the girls to finish preschool (as usual) when this bizarre and unfamiliar feeling came over me.

At first I didn't know what it was, and then it hit me. I was actually feeling happy! And then I started laughing at myself. It had been so long since I've felt happy that I hadn't even noticed!

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #14

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

In the 14th of our series, we presen the secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids, Emily, Grant, and Lynn. This time, our struggling mom realizes that, though it's slow, she is making progress with her kids.

February

Although I haven't written in a while, don't start thinking things are getting dull around here! Very little chance of that happening. I had a great visit/session with Roz the other day--I Really enjoy getting her perspectives on my bizarre little world. Here's how it went.

Diary of an Adoptive Mom #15

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

In the fifteen of our series, we present the--until now--secret thoughts of an adoptive mom of three kids. This time, our struggling mom has been given an assignment by a behaviourist, Roz, that has some hard truths.

Well, here's another of those heart-wrenchingly truthful journal assignments from Roz.

Extreme Parenting series

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Claire’s 10-year-old son, Adam, was adopted from a Russian orphanage when he was 19 months old. Her second son, Ethan, joined their family from foster care at age 7. In this 12-part series, Claire shares the “fast and furious learning” she and her family experienced when they adopted an older child. This series ran from 2013 to 2016.

Extreme parenting: Find your gratitude

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

There are few things more life- or soul-destroying than clinging to the feeling that you are a victim of your life experiences, and that the world owes you something for the pain it caused you. And there are even fewer things more life- or soul-destroying than not allowing yourself the space to really feel your loss, fear, and longing.

Family struggles with openness gone wrong

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Carey Elliot* has a close relationship with her four adult children, a long and happy marriage, and a successful career. She also has two grandchildren: a two-year-old boy, and a six-year-old girl. The little girl was placed for adoption at birth.

When Carey's daughter Danika became pregnant at 25, she told her mom that she was considering an adoption plan for her baby. Though other members of the family found this idea hard to accept, Carey was supportive: the birth father was not involved, and Danika very much wanted her child to have siblings and a two-parent family.

Write your own story

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Everyone in the adoption constellation has a story to tell from his or her particular point of view. We weave our sense of self into the story and reveal our personalities. The process of storytelling helps us, the storyteller, clearly see our own motivations and values. It also helps others understand adoption from the inside out.

The value of taking the time to write out our stories instead of simply talking about them is that writing allows us to slow down our thinking and ponder what we want to explore. T

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