Openness

Though they are rare, and most adoptions go through seamlessly, revocations by birth parents happen.

In BC, birth parents have 30 days from the time their child is born to change their minds and decide to parent their child.

Usually those 30 days pass by, albeit slowly, and the parents can breathe a sigh of relief. For others, it’s not quite so simple.

Both of *Melissa Berry’s children want information on their birth families, but at this time, only one, Kaiya, aged 11, has. Nine year old Brooke has to cope with the knowledge that, unlike her sister’s birth mom, hers is not ready or is unable to make contact with her. Brooke came home at 11 days old. Though her adoption allowed for an open arrangement and her birthmom indicated she would be interested in written communication, it has not happened. The Berrys have sent information via the Ministry but have not had any response.

At one point we actually referred to it as 90 months of failure. But it was through the pain of years of infertility that we finally opened up to the option of adoption. It always seemed like having to settle for second best-runner up-the silver medal. If only we knew then what we know now, we would have started the adoption process so much earlier.

"If I were an adoptee, I think I'd want to search for my birth parents. I'd be curious, I think," Cathy tells me. "Oh, no, I wouldn't want to," says Joanne. "I was raised by my biological parents and I may look like them, but I am nothing like them in personality. Who cares whose nose or hands you have?"