Personal stories

Tips for families in transition

On February 1, 2016, my husband and I went from being just a couple to being the parents of three kids: a 9-year-old boy, a 4-year-old girl, and a 1-year-old boy. Even though we had been praying for this for years, it was overwhelming when it actually happened! Looking back, here are seven things I wish I’d known a year ago.

In this series Marion Crook, author and adoptive mom, takes us on a journey through changes in adoption in BC. Part one explores local infant adoption, part two will look at international adoption, and part three will focus on adoption from foster care.

There are hundreds of teenagers in foster care who need permanent homes. In this interview Paula^*, a mom who’s adopted four youth, shares her journey.
^*all names have been changed to protect the family's privacy.

Tell me about your family.

I live in a small, coastal town. I’m a single mom. I have seven children: Naomi (27), Tessa (25), Jack (24),  Rob (23), Cameron (21), Justin (18), and Blake (17).

Meredith Graham shared this moving spoken word poem at AFABC's Hats Off! gala in 2016. The audience was so captivated that we wanted to share it with you too.

Storytelling can help your child receive a more accurate assessment

Five things every family should know

International adoption is a complicated process that involves the child, the parents, the provincial government, the federal government, and the government in the child’s birth country. You will need to do a lot of planning, a lot of paperwork, and a lot of waiting before the journey is complete.

What adoptees want parents to know

If we could go back in time and, with the wisdom of hindsight, ask our parents to do things differently, what would adopted people request? It’s a dream question, of course. What person wouldn’t want the chance to set their parents straight?

To help me answer this question more objectively, I asked many of the adopted adults who belong to We are Adopted: The Adoptees Association to share their thoughts. I also reflected on the many stories I’ve heard from other adopted people over the years.

We discovered this poem in an anthology of adoption poetry from 1983,  Perspectives on a Grafted Tree. The book is still in print and available on Amazon; it’s one of Jen’s “golden olide” picks on page 24 of this issue. Sheila Darst wrote  it when she was an expectant adoptive mother and dedicated it to her social worker, Deborah Bonnardel. Her description of waiting for an adoption match rings true almost three decades later.

Author’s note: this article expresses my opinion and feelings, formed both through my own experiences and through my association with many other mothers in person, at the Forget Me Not Family Society, and in online communities.     

As we approach AFABC’s 40th anniversary year, we’re reflecting on four decades of family. We’re also saying “thank you, and see you soon” (not goodbye!) to Sheryl Salloum, our long-time copy editor, who’s on to new adventures both on and off the page. Sheryl has been involved with AFABC since its early days, and has contributed to Focus on Adoption for almost as long.  We’re honored to share her thoughtful reflections with you.