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Adopting a special needs child: Our journey

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

About six years ago, we decided it was time to start building our family. When the old-fashioned way didn’t work for us, I began researching international adoption. The enormous costs, as well as the health problems many children face, were discouraging, so I spoke with our doctor about other options. He referred us to a fertility specialist. Our unsuccessful efforts brought us back to adoption.

Adoption vs childlessness?

"My husband and I have recently been diagnosed as infertile. Whereas I have come to see adoption as the best option for raising a family, my husband sees our infertility as an indication that we should remain childless. I’m at a loss, I love my husband, but I really want a family."

Ignoring the warning signs: Divorce after infertility and adoption

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

“There is a problem. This could impact your ability to have children,” were the words I heard from my gynecologist after having laproscopic surgery. My heart sank. I had wanted to be a mom from the time I was four years old. When I thought I would never be a mom, I felt incomplete, ugly, and embarrassed. I didn’t want anybody to know.

Adoption reversal and revocation

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Adoption reversal and revocation strikes fear in the hearts of adopting parents. Under section 19 of the Adoption Act, "a birth mother may revoke her consent within 30 days of the child's birth, even though the child has been placed for adoption during that period." In a reversal, consents have not been signed; in revocation, consents have been signed. In most cases the child was living in the adoptive home. Under the old Act, there was no revocation period.

Embracing the twin roles of love and loss

Source: 
Focus on Adoption magazine

Talking about grief and loss is a difficult conversation for adoptive parents to have with each other and with children. For my family, adoption is neither a win-win-win nor a lose-lose-lose situation, but rather it is both. Together the losses inherent in the adoption process and the deep love we share bind our family together. After eight years and lots of difficult work acknowledging my own losses, I am more able to embrace the role that both loss and love play in our family.

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